❓Did you know that some people in the aortic community find themselves going through the 5 stages of grief after a diagnosis or after surviving an aortic dissection?
Today is Therapeutic Thursday at Aortic Hope and we want to take a moment to validate the emotions you may be feeling since diagnosis.
👉According to an article in Healthline written by Aryanna Denk titled, Processing Grief After a New Medical Diagnosis, Aryanna explains that "The type of grief that comes with chronic illness is complex. Grief is an experience that can completely consume you mentally, physically, and emotionally — and it doesn’t just happen with the traditional sense of loss."
Here are the 5 stages of grief according to Swiss-American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:
1. Denial:
According to the article "Even though you know logically that you're entering a new relationship with your health when a new medical issue comes up or you get a new diagnosis, it's common to need time to work through denial before beginning to process exactly what it is you're feeling." We know many community members want to bury their head in denial and pretend none of it is happening or diminish what your symptoms may be. These are coping mechanisms. Pushing through the day is a form of denial.
Take time to process everything that you are experiencing and every doctor's appointment.
2. Anger:
Aryanna explains that, "When anger is burning through you, it means you have most likely come to understand the reality of your situation. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re ready to accept it. Sometimes, it feels easier or more manageable to lash out at others when you’re grieving for yourself.'
In those moments when you are angry with the doctor for not diagnosing you sooner, that ER for sending you home without a proper diagnosis, maybe with yourself for not taking better care of yourself or just the person who got in line before you at the grocery store, wherever the anger comes from, try to enlist mindfulness techniques or ground yourself. Anger is part of the stages of grief and you need to learn healthy ways to cope with this emotion.
3. Depression:
The article mentions that "Depression can make chronic pain worse with head, body, and stomach aches. How do you know when your symptoms are from depression or from a different medical issue? First, let’s note that no matter where your symptoms stem from — whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, or behavioral health — they’re valid."
All of us at Aortic Hope understand the emotions you are feeling as we have gone through them as well. Support groups can come in handy during the stages of grief. (you can find further information about our support groups here https://www.aortichope.org/programs). It is very important to note that depression is something that should not be taken lightly and may need therapist or psychiatrist to properly diagnose and treat. If you find yourself in a crisis, seek our proper resources to help or call 988.
4. Bargaining or negotiating:
This could also be called the "What-Ifs stage. During this stage we tend to ask if we trust the process or diagnosis, we question if we had been diagnosed sooner or maybe if we eat a better diet and exercise everything will get better. The article mentions that "Though this isn’t the same as denial, in which you’re trying to shut out reality, this stage might feel similar because you’re thinking of all the ways that the situation could have gone differently. Even though you can’t actually change the past (or predict the future), negotiating with your health can be a way to process this new reality.
What-Ifs only seem to create larger issues like anxiety, and more anger etc. Don't fall down that slippery slope. Lean more towards it is, what it is.
5. Acceptance:
This is the stage you are working towards. Accepting the diagnosis, monitoring, treatment plans etc. This doesn't mean you have to like it. In fact, according to Aryanna, "It’s important to note, though, that acceptance doesn’t mean that you have to be happy or pleased with everything that’s happening to your body and health. Acceptance does not have to mean contentedness. You might still feel angry and depressed and overwhelmed at your situation — but this is okay."
Going through grieving over your job, or physical abilities on top of a diagnosis is normal and important towards overall healing. Change the narrative in your mind to that you are evolving into becoming a new self, a person who lives their best life despite any limitations or changes. These thoughts alone might cause grief to come visit again and that's okay. If you feel stuck, reach out to family and friends or a support group. Talking with your therapist or physician will also be a very important tool.
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